Everyone Has A Story To Tell.

Tag: Happiness

close up shot of a person making a camp fire

A Cold Saturday Night In 2000 CE

It was a cold evening a decade ago and I was in Jabalpur, a laid back township that thrived on people like me.

The furore of the Y2K was far from being buried, in fact it had still not died down. Life was good as always, but there were many answers that I sought – answers I know that life will reveal only when time comes and not before. But then God has designed people to seek answers very vigorously when they are in their twenties. Some wisdom comes with answers delivered after one has turned thirty years and not before.

I was two years short of my three decades on Earth my answer would start to show. But, it happened that. Two years earlier than the datum I had once perceived, that the my question got answered. I became wiser than my peers. I believe so, because I whatever I experienced that day has stuck with me and still I think of that day. The incident remains fresh and mystical even after a more than a couple of decades.

I was a student then and pursuing telecom engineering. That memory is from the days I was busy with the end of term radio communications project. There was a lot activity of all types from doing the technical work to writing the report to presenting the inferences. But as is the case in most projects, there were some who wanted to learn, some who just wanted better grades, some wanted to impress the teachers, while there were a few who had attained Nirvana and couldn’t care less .

As is generally the case with most ambiverts, I am different from most of the lot amongst whom I work, maybe because I fit in a very small group whom I can identify with. There are even fewer whom I feel have the ability to think if at all, beyond earning your bread and butter. I work passionately where I feel I must or not at all. Therefore as part of the group, I was doing my bit. Helping those who wanted to be projected, trying to understand what impressed teachers, sometimes even drifting with those who were in the state of Nirvana. I was just being myself as usual. The part closest to me of putting through long distance HF communication was already over. I had not much interest left in the project, except in helping others doing their bit for their own reason.

That particular day had been a little more hectic than the usual days. The time was short and too many things had yet to be done. Some things were top priority and needed to be finished before the next day. The next day was the day we were to submit our individual reports and also the final project report by the group. I was still at ease for rarely things can be busy if I don’t want them to be. My individual report was ready and the group report would still take some more time. In all the hustle-bustle, I was my peaceful self, with a smile ready to escape but constrained by my endeavour not to offend others.

Jabalpur town was settling to a peaceful night – cold, calm and laid back. The traffic on the roads had considerably decreased and the distant lights of the town suggested the market would soon close for the day. It was then that someone realised that we were short on the stationary to really make the desired impact when we made our presentation the next day. I was the obvious guy, who was choosen to manage the stationery, probably because only I seemed to be at ease and it seemed I had nothing to do. We did not have any vehicle to move around. But during my previous stay at Jabalpur during the grand reunion party, I knew all distances in Jabalpur were walkable. So, killing all thoughts of going by some vehicle I decided to walk to Sadar Bazaar to pick up whatever was needed. I remembered that there was a stationery shop near the beginning of the market which always catered for the last minute requirements like ours. So I decided to walk down to the shop before it closed. The dinner could wait today as it should once in a while.

I was fortunate enough to pick up most of the things which were required before the lone stationary shop closed down. I was glad that I did things, which no one else would do – in fact they would not have been able to, frittering away precious time on useless squabbles. After picking up whatever was needed, I wanted to go to the Coffee Shop before I returned to the guys who would become more desperate with every passing minute. The midnight lamp would surely be burning tonight, for there was still a lot of work to be done. The visit to the Coffee Shop was removed from my mind as soon as it had entered my mind. Some ones good things need to wait. I was quite cold when I started walking back. Coffee too could wait.

As I walked back I got busy in my thoughts about what life had to offer and what was needed to add a little more happiness around. I won’t call this a distraction but a blessing to be able to think of something else during pressing times. I had a family to look-after and the associated responsibilities. I knew that for the work I did I would never be able to break out of the shell of GIMC – “The Great Indian Middle Class” despite of the resources and the where-with-all that I could tap. I was wondering what could really be that thing be which brought happiness to a family. Was it all about money? No, money does not buy certain things, I was aware of that. Social status? No, my definition of happiness does not depend on what others think about me. The others’ view about me is fraught with gullibility and thus brings a great degree of uncertainty. Good family? No, I have a beautiful family but I still felt like I missed that special ingredient that brought satisfaction and happiness to a family.

What was it, I did not know on that cold night. As I walked back such thoughts were vivid, exciting and did shield me from the cold. The brisk pace of the walk was also helping a bit there.

As I walked along the hedge of the lantana bush along the footpath, I heard the laughter, a laughter shattered the shield and made me return to the real world. I soon realised that the cold breeze had made me cold and I would soon be missing the cup of coffee which I had decided to sacrifice. But the laughter was a sheer contrast to the cold – it felt warm. The bushes were hiding the source of that laughter. Curiosity took the better of me and I peeked through the bush. There were some people sitting around a small fire. I decided to have a closet look, least realising that the my perceptions about life would never remain the same thereafter. When I look back, I feel grateful to the One above for granting me that moment.

What I saw just as I went around the bush made me smile. A family had gathered around a small fire and were enjoying some anecdote – something that had made them all laugh. The laughter had still not died out as I closed in on them, walking in the darkness. They were still not aware of a stranger watching them enjoy their moment of mirth. I stood for a while watching them, smiling. It must have been sometime before the little girl noticed me and indicated to the man next to her by holding his hand – I could sense the anxiety and wanted to move away before I spoiled their celebration. But before that could happen, I heard the man inviting me to join them. I was now partly confused, partly embarrassed and totally at a loss for words. It took a while for me to take a decision and I decided to join them around the warmth of the small fire. The guys back there could wait a while, that extra time would not be noticed by anyone and I was not very hungry, either. This would be a different experience and the routine should always wait when such opportunities arise.

The man called for me again and this time I smiled moving towards the small group and absorbing the moment rather fast. I guessed [and correctly so] that it was a family get together. A humble family get-together. The man, his wife, their daughter and the man’s younger brother – anyone could have noticed the striking similarity between the two men. I do remember the names distinctly but then the names do not matter, as always names never matter. I will not mention their names, never have whenever I have narrated this incident.

Soon, we started talking. I was as reluctant to disclose my identity as I was keen to find about them as much as I could. This somehow seemed to be a very different experience. I learnt that they had a tribal background and the lure of a better life had made them attempt a foray into the urban forest. They, had separated from their kith and kin with a hope. They had reached out to the world, attempting to break the shell that offered very little. The risk had been great, for this breaking of the shell had happened when the little girl was an infant and the family required much more security than what the bare minimum level of security their nomadic jungle life offered. I think all humans endeavour like this – breaking out of the shell and taking risks.

But the risk had been worth it. The family had learnt the ways of the the new world, learnt the language, the system of earning a living, and what was need to progress for a better life. The advancements had been rapid and the family had adapted very well. Their achievements can be compared to the meteoric rise of the businessmen in my world. But then all worlds are different. I was reminded of what Richard Bach had written in ‘One’. Every single human lives in a different world, the achievements, the struggles, the glory for each one is different and at different datum. The family was happy because the man had been given a raise and now could plan to get their only daughter educated. The house could wait and so could the marriage of the younger man. The laughter had a deeper meaning now. I smiled. God showers his bliss in numerous ways. It showed in their will to endure and decide for a better world.

Their story seemed to far outgrow on all measures of enormity to my own – making my struggles seem like child’s play. The family offered me their humble meal of rice and dal. I shared their meal with them. I felt a little awkward because I am not comfortable eating someone else’s food and in this case I know what effort would have gone into getting that dinner. Absolute stranger, sitting around their small fire and probably eating a chunk into their collective day’s wages – I am sure all three worked to make a living. That family was made of people with great hearts. In my world I had not known anybody who could share a meal with an absolute stranger, especially if the cost of that meal was almost equivalent to the daily earnings for the day!

Strange things happen strangely, but very few of these tend to leave their mark. It was as enlightening as it was humbling experience to be sitting around a small fire amongst very poor people who had very big hearts. People who despite of going through everything tough that life had to offer, knew that joy was in small things which had no monetary cost. Small things that I had not noticed at all, in my search for the ultimate happiness. Best things are not things at all. I learnt this big lesson that cold night amongst the humble folks sitting around the warmth of the small fire. Small things like the twinkling stars, the morning dew on a rose petals and sharing someone’s life story can give abundant, unconstrained happiness, while bringing out life lessons. Only one has the time to slow down to see the world around and seek happiness.

More than a couple of decades ago such a moment had been given to me, yet it remains as fresh as yesterday. The true joy of life is in small things.

Fond Memories Of Goosey And Other Animals

This is the second part about Goosey and her ways. The first one which was “Remembering Goosey And Her Ways” I published last week. Her interactions with the other animals were more playful than most other dogs and at the same time, some reactions were hilarious, so much so that when we talk about them even today, we cannot avoid the laughter that follows. Goosey continues to live amongst us in her unique ways.

A Lazy Sunday In Summer

Mornings were the time when Goosey would wait eagerly for her cooked food to cool down. She loved her food to be cooked and would wait only till it was cool enough to be gobbled down as fast as any dog possibly could. Won’t call her greedy, but she cherished her meals. Well, this is also the time when there were enough pigeons and sometimes crows that visited our terrace in the warm summer days. Goosey understood all birds as birdies. Goosey’s breakfast of soft-boiled grains of porridge and chunks of meat was always inviting for the birdies. Aminals and birds unlike most humans do not have any morals about whose food it is. Simply put, anyone who grabs something to eat becomes theirs, if not lost to a bigger bully who could be one of their own or otherwise. It, therefore, is against animal instinct not to steal food whenever the opportunity permits. Consequently, Goosey was not only very watchful of her food but expected the rest of the household to help her in her endeavours to protect her food from stealing birdies. She would chase away the birds, or birdies as she understood them, attempting to steal her breakfast. But sometimes when she got too busy playing with the folks or seeing them off as they rushed to their work or school as the case may be, the birdies managed to steal her percious breakfast. This left Goosey with fewer chunks of meat than she would love to have. Goosey, for this sole reason, remained perpetually annoyed with anything that could be classified as a birdie. Goosey and birdie were sworn enemies till her very last.

The funny part is that birdies were not only the birds that visited our terrace looking out for food but also the term referred to anything that flew. It would be some time though before we realised that birdies also included the non-living!

 We had all noticed that Goosey remained pretty annoyed by the aeroplanes passing over our house. The airport being very close, the aeroplanes invariably flew very low and created an enormous din. We assumed that the noise of the aeroplanes must be more irritating to Goosey, for she would leave everything, even her food and would go into a barking frenzy till such time the aeroplane was no longer to be seen. This was also the window of time that the much smarter crows got, to steal her food. The aeroplanes were none of their concerns. Over some time, we realised that she barked at the aircraft only during the mornings or the late afternoons. Rest of the day the aeroplanes could not bother her, even if she was able to see them. This dual behaviour confused us all a bit.

One bright Sunday morning, when The Bitter Half was setting up Goosey’s ‘Breakfast Table’, an aeroplane passed overhead. Goosey who remains generally very engrossed with all activity relating to “her table being laid out”, went into her peculiar barking frenzy, least bothered about the food. The growl could be heard even after the aeroplane had gone out of sight and the distant sound was fading. She was angry that the birdie had dared to come flying even before her breakfast was laid out and cooled down. It took some time before Goosey cooled down. Thankfully, the crows could not steal a single morsel that Sunday, since we were all around. This behaviour we noticed repeatedly over the long summer. It was only after observing this repeated reaction of Goosey that we concluded with some certainty that Goosey somehow thought that the aircraft was a giant birdie looking for an opportunity to steal her meal! Her lack of agitated reaction when it was not her food-time confirmed our suspicions. Theafter, for many weeks and whenever the opportunity permitted, various members of the household would make it a point to come on the terrace to watch Goosey eating her food and hoping that an aeroplane would pass overhead. The prize was the expression on her otherwise calm face – it clearly suggested that she would tear apart the huge birdie if somehow she could reach it.

Then there were the Nilgai, the biggest of the Asian antelopes. Nilgai often venture into the colony in which we lived. They were her playmates of sorts. She would chase them flying over ditches and bushes as fast as she could, her playfully tail straight back and she tongue dangling from the side of her mouth like a wolf chasing per prey. The running all over our colony would stop only once she was tired or if the Nilgai decided to call off the stupidity by jumping over the tall fence meant to keep them from entering the colony. Tired of all the wild running and satiated with all the adrelin she had pumped up, she would give a short bark as if she was saying thanks or a goodbye to the antelope before walking back home to the cool house to get lost in her dreams. Yes, like all dogs she dreamt and am sure she dreamt mostly about chasing Nilgai, for she would be making leg movements in her sleep as if she was running.

While there were some other animals which captured her interest as intensensly, there were some which were almost transparent to her when it came to her interest. The colourful garden lizard which frequented our terrace always captured her interest. When the gentleman came over the parapet, appearing amongst the flowerpots, Goosey somehow always managed to catch him sneaking in. Her eyes would be sharply focused on the garden lizard, both ears cocked up staright, the rest of the body frozen stiff. She would not bark or charge at the animal or do any movement. This was her method of observation and it lasted as long as the visitor was around. Sometmies, if Goosey’s curiosity got the better of her making her approach, the garden lizard, it scooted away, she would not give a chase. During those moments, if someone tried to make her look away, they would fail. It was a strange reaction but it was repeated everytime the garden lizard came to our terrace. Goosey could not be distracted by anyone, even by the birdies who were closing in on to her water bowl for a drink. Somehow, the garden lizard knew that Goosey was never a threat to him but instincts play the most important role in reaction of all animals.Her curiosity about the colourful garden lizard never waned.

But at the same time, her interest in the house lizard was surprisingly zilch. Even after someone pointed her to a lizard on the wall, she would not react. She could not be bothered about it at all. House lizards did not interest her even as much as the little ants which she encountered during her walks. She always went out without the leash and had earned our confidence that nothing possibly could go wrong – it gave her all the exploring she needed.

The stray dogs were an annoyance and she she never indulged in them, unless they seemed to be threatening on of us. She was fine with other domesticated dogs, but was never really interested. She knew that the nasty ones could only bark and that’s about it barking useless without no justifiable reason seemed such a waste. The stray cattle were always to be chased to her hearts content, after all she had the instincts of a shepard dog. She loved animals as much as the rest of the household if not more. She died by a snake bite, cusriousity killed the most well meaning dog I have ever known.

Goosey’s untimely death was a devasting loss for all those who know her. She was buried in the backyard and a tree was planted on her grave, a mark of her character which made her yearn to give more than she got – to one and all. My younger one did not allow her food bowl to be given away and always kept it out on the terrace full of water for the birdies to quench their thrist and sometimes bath too. A dog’s food bowel has never been used more by the birdies than by the dog herself. I am sure that Goosey, wherever she is would be smiling at the irony – birdies having the best of her “table”, knowing that our love for her has only grown over the years, especially after her passing.

God bless her with wherever she is for all the joy and happy memories she has given us. There are many other things to write about Goosey and someday I will share them.

Remembering Goosey And Her Ways

Goosey – The Farmer Dog

Goosey was our German Shepherd and like all dogs, she had a certain funny side to her character. We lost it to a snake bite. One post would not suffice so I would be writing two, this being the first one of the two.

We had Tango and Frinto too. Both passed before Goosey became part of our family. Both Tango and Frinto had their respective unique character. I emphasise on character and not characteristics because over the years, staying with dogs has taught me so. I am sure no dog lover can ever contest that. We now have Misty and my younger one feels it to be an incarnation of Goosey. But some things were so unique to Goosey that I doubt I would ever come across another dog like that.

When we brought home Goosey, she was anaemic, infested with lice and scared of almost everything – sounds, shapes and movements. She surely was a neglected one and her loving eyes clearly said that she wanted to just one chance and only a little care for the world to know what joy she could bring. She was the weakest of the litter, which was the obvious reason she wasn’t picked up by the time we got to her. Only time would tell, that a golden heart drives the dog more than the physical attributes, which can be misleading at times. It took only a month to see the prize we had picked up even though it took a couple of years before her health would be fully restored. Her name “Goosey” was chosen because she somehow resembled a duck and probably “Goosey, Goosey Gander” was my younger one’s favourite poem. The fact that Goosey seemed like a male name did not bother anyone in the family. Beyond that don’t ask me how the name stuck because I cannot really explain it.

German Shepherds have the size, shape and demeanour that would scare away most people. However, the way Goosey was brought up she rarely showed that she was the closest descendent of the wolf. This I suppose is another great attribute of a German Shepherd – the ability to be any type of a dog. A German Shepard can be a shepherd dog, a sniffer, a tracker, a guard dog or a good family dog. Without dwelling upon too much of the dog talk, I want to proceed to tell about Goosey who was a good-natured family dog of ours.

She had a way of greeting family members coming back home from anywhere, school, vacation, work or even a short trip to the market. The greeting seemed more like her attempt to overpower the people she was greeting. Both front paws on the shoulders and the long tongue lapping up the entire face. It quite some time for her to realise that this was not the best way to greet folks sometimes. Apart from intimidating, it would sometimes upset the guests concerned with their dress. A few would want to run away rather than be greeted by Goosey. Goosey on the other hand never realised all the fuss, such people, created. She soon improvised and learned to be satisfied with welcoming everyone home with a small lick on the ear. This was something that she as much as the rest of the household understood to be a kiss. It would be sufficient on most occasions except when Goosey got driven to near madness with love for the family and visitors alike. This ceremony of kissing everyone was mandatory – the more someone delayed, the more enthusiasm she showed and would not stop even if that needed for her to make folks fall on the ground so that she could “kiss”. However, it never happened to certain people. The elders or anyone else for whom this signature welcoming of hers could cause even the slightest of harm were very easily allowed to get away with a soft pat on her head. The happiness remained the same though.

The morning rush hour hustle-bustle would make the entire household busy with preparing for the daily routine of office, school etc. Despite all such mornings, Goosey had the ability to snatch a few moments to play with the boys and other family members grabbing every fleeting opportunity even in those busy mornings. She never slept late and was up as soon as anyone would wake up. Always looking for opportunities to experience joy and share it with the entire household. Papa used to have his bed tea in the bedroom though. He being bedridden he did not join the rest of the family for the morning tea in the drawing-room. There were always extra biscuits which would go Goosey’s way as we sipped our tea and chatted. As soon as someone took the tea and biscuits to dad, Goosey would drop everything and walk along with the person carrying the tea to Papa’s bedroom. There she would sit patiently for as long as it would take for Papa to start having tea. Halfway through Papa would throw an extra biscuit or two to Goosey who would peacefully munch her share of biscuits from Papa. Only after Papa indicated to her, “no more”, she would get up and walk back to the drawing-room where the rest of the family would still be sitting. While she took a biscuit from everyone, she never showed greed. After all, she got to eat the maximum number of biscuits.

It was earth she loved more than the slippery floor of the house or even the rough floor of the terrace. She loved to dig more than any other dog I have ever known. We often introduced her to our friends as our “Farmer Dog, Goosey”. She loved to dig all over the place wherever and whenever she could. Somehow the blooming flowers and the lush green grass maintained with so much difficulty in the desert were always spared. She loved the bloom and grass as much. The rest of the place was her digging area. The entire family knew the code “digam” which would make her start digging straight away – as if there was a treasure to be buried or to be retrieved. That look she gave while digging suggested that all others were missing all the fun. She loved it if one of the boys joined her to dig holes in the backyard. Just murmur the word “digam” and she would start digging – the actions were done even if she was inside the house and could never dig up a tiled floor. She loved digging so much that once I had to give up trying to get new flower beds made – for all the effort would get wasted. Goosey would love to continue to dig even after it was no longer needed!

She lived a short life of barely five years, dying at the prime of her age. But the joy she gave to each one who came across her was immense and cannot be compared to anything. She had a heart that held all the happiness of our respective worlds. It’s been years since she has gone but a mere mention of hers always triggers the joyous stories that connect with each one of us in a unique way.

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