Asleep in windy bliss
Hot winds killing agony from heat
Prayers seek clouds’ kiss
Yearn for rains to beat the heat
Awake, unaware of a distant storm
As it closes, mind aspires to meet
Thunder and rain brought in by storm
Heat recedes to cool winds we greet
Rising expectations of rain
Met with sand, agony delivered
Sands of misery and of pain
Angst compounded, hope quivered
What sought wasn’t received
Futility, thou art godly ways
God seem unjust, not as perceived
But He has his unknown ways
Winds drive sand everywhere
Seems like wrath of God
Aiding the ultimate takeover
Earth feels hot, dried is sod
Then, face feels the cool water drops
Rain, it finally falls
Thick with sand, heavy like slop
Sand subsides, as the heat falls
Sand settles, all its fury gone
Song of winds – soothing and cool
Aroma of wet earth, mark of a boon
Mind floods with memories to drool
Abrupt thoughts of reality
Of storms that bring the muck
Also bring life, it’s vitality
Water for parched land to suck
Agony to blessings, prayers pay
God may frown but surely will smile
There is a method in his way
While man thinks it’s his beguile
Category: Life’s Flow Page 1 of 4
Half the world is composed of people who have something to say and can’t, and the other half who have nothing to say and keep on saynig it.
– Robert Frost
The quote above just about sums up the world we live in today. Times have changed — technology has connected us yet we have made ourselves more disconnected. With changing times the way humans interact has also changed. So subtle has been the change that we have collectively fallen into the trap of being disconnected.
There was a time when people sent letters or cards to communicate with others, to stay in touch and remain connected to other people who were not living close by. For those who lived in the same city or locality, people went down to their place to meet them. Other than homes, people went to cafés or some such common meeting places. That was far more intimate way to stay in touch than what we experience today. It surely was not an efficient way, as a lot of time and some basic planning was needed to do all that. Quite unlike today when people are only a call or message away, wherever on Earth they maybe. During the days gone by a letter was worth many thoughts. At times, people took a lot of pain to write one, trying to convey as accurately as they were thinking or feeling. Well, everyone could not do so, for it required one to be educated enough to articulate a good presentation of thoughts and ideas. There were so many things like the syntax, salutations, greetings, compliments, beginnings and endings, the type of letter depending to whom the letter was addressed to and so on and so forth. There were formal letters and love letters, there were official letters and semi-official letters. A well written letter conveyed a lot of things and people read letters much more carefully than they read emails these days, trying to decipher the deeper meaning and sometimes emotions that went in writing those words. When it comes to the depth of communication, messages, and social media interactions of the present times come nowhere close. Those were also the times when some people especially who did not have the luxury of letter writing, preferred to exchange spoken words. For them the written words were a second choice. Spoken communication offered greater intimacy and depth as regards quality of interaction. A glance could convey what a letter could not. A discussion could be far more influential than a whole lot of books. The relation between two people had a certain depth, which lately is becoming rare as a growing number of people spend more and more time stooping over their smartphones — all in the futility of searching for meaningful interactions.
Then came telephones. Like most things new, a telephone in those early days was sort of a status symbol, for only the most influential could get one. The common man went to public booths to make calls. The requirement of letter-writing reduced considerably as people felt that words spoken into the microphone of the telephone allowed a greater exchange of information between two people than letter writing ever allowed. This was the beginning of people preferring quantity over quality of communication. Using telephones, one could still catch the emotions of the other person which could very easily be missed out in a letter, especially the ones written formally. This possibility existed even if the skill of letter-writing was considerably enhanced. The telephone continued to remain a status symbol, till it became a piece of common household equipment in most middle-income and upper-income homes. I remember in those days one had to wait for one’s turn to get into the telephone booth to talk to family and friends. Sometimes it was a long wait, as the telephone had not reached every home or public place. But one waited, for it felt more satisfying to make calls to wish birthdays and anniversaries. Sound is great in strengthening human connections — there is a reason why we are able to identify different people by their voices. It was also an efficient means of communication. The sharing of information to and fro was as good as one-to-one communication people had. As telephones penetrated human societies, people became less dependent on letter writing and this method of communicating started to fade rapidly.
The importance of the telephone gradually shifted away to the much smaller and much more convenient cell phone. This marked the beginning of the time when you carried your means of communication with you wherever you went. It also ensured that you were available all the time and at all the places where the network was available. It was mighty fashionable to flash your Motorola handsets to show that you were upward mobile. This also marked the beginning of the post-modern era of being connected yet disconnected. It was so gradual a change that people did not realise that they were falling into the trap of becoming insulated. Meeting other people was relegated to making calls or messages. It was no longer considered an important activity, some even felt that meeting other people was a waste of time! People were becoming too busy to socialise the way they did a few decades back. Doing things was more important and relevant than ‘wasting’ time meeting people. Friends and often family members got neglected, they themselves got lost to being disconnected while remaining connected through cell phones and all the bells and whistles that technology had to offer.
The availability of the Internet brought about major changes in the way we interact with other people. It remained sane, at least for the older folks who were more used to writing letters, as long as people still interacted using emails. It lasted a very short time though. But it still had a personal touch of the earlier times when people wrote letters. It also had the convenience of not having to know those varied formats for writing different types of letters. The old system of sending letters came to be referred to as ‘snail mail’, a lot of people initially would have felt that it was a derogatory term, especially those who were still used to sending letters or had spent considerable energy in mastering the art of letter-writing. Emailing ensured that there is nothing known as The Art Of Writing Letters. You just emailed, as long as it conveyed the meaning and the essence of your thoughts. In fact email apart from being the watershed for being disconnected while being connected, also fuelled the downfall of the idea of ‘the right way to write letters.
The cell phone also gave an opportunity for people to send small written messages. It was used and still is being used as a means of communicating both for the purpose of business and for meeting social needs. In fact, the SMS craze had brought in the idea of SMSese, a language created by teenagers and propagated by those who wanted to be known as upwardly mobile as the language of the future. It would prove to be irrelevant and seen as something obnoxious in social interactions. Some traces can still be seen on platforms like Twitter though. If you did not understand all those funny symbols and wonky terminology then you were not keeping up. It was funny to see the young teaching the old how to communicate, I can imagine the annoyance of my English teacher when she is told that “b4” and “before” mean the same thing!
Consequently, first, the cell phones which are now called feature phones were replaced by smartphones. A smartphone allowed all types of calls — voice calls, emails, short messages, conference calls, video calls, interactive broadcasts and almost every means of interacting that mankind has known except one-on-one physical meetings. Almost all of humanity who can afford a smartphone has since been drooling over the way they can communicate from sending emails and text messages to remaining in touch through calls and video calls. It is a common site to see people staring into a piece of glass which throws up different sounds and light when touched to create images and sounds. It is actually amazing what a piece of glass with some circuitry baked into it can do. It has made its creator a slave of one’s creation. It can keep an average person engrossed to any extent — from working to banking, from calling to buying groceries; listening to songs and watching movies to researching topics, from reading news and books to staying in touch with family through video calls, from attending classes to ordering birthday gifts to friends. The possibilities are enormous. How good or bad all this is, depends on one’s skill to maintain one’s sanity and have a balanced perception of what life truly is.
Well, times are very different now compared to the days when people went out to meet other people to stay in touch. With social media and all the 24×7 connectivity, the mind remains abuzz to such an extent that it is common for people to get bored within just a few minutes. As the attention span has reduced, the ability to invent interestingness without some external stimulus from technology through smartphones and computers is becoming a rare thing. Take away the smartphone from an average person or send them to a place with no internet connectivity and most people would be less creative than a bored monkey in a small cage in a zoo. A lot is lost, as humans have made a lot of progress. Remaining in touch is taken for granted and has come to mean so much less, despite all the Social Media apps and the numerous methods of staying in touch which was unheard of a few decades back. The depth of human interactions has given way to a shallowness born from a much wider horizon of possibilities to stay in touch. The number of Facebook friends one has now matters more than actual friends. There are examples of this sense of being connected. The most common one which I often talk of is a group of friends going out for a meal at a restaurant with the aim to spend time together. It is only till the time they order what to eat, sometimes even earlier than that, before they end up pulling out their smartphones to get lost in their own respective virtual worlds, all in the name of getting together.
With the proliferation of the Internet, social media sites started blooming. Now you have a plethora of sites for different types of social networking – Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, TicToc and even sites for dating like Tinder. The ‘NOW’ generation has fallen into the trap of being (dis)connected, they are confused and unsure of what to communicate. I often wonder what value lies in wishing birthdays and anniversaries and congratulations or even condolences on social media. It is only a narcissist who would look for such wishes on social media because “how much communication” matters to him or her more than the quality of communication. While it is a reasonably good way to ensure that you do not miss out on a whole lot of those important days, it is definitely not the best way to stay in touch. This is considered a dichotomy of sorts and generates a lot of debates. The debates wouldn’t die till the entire Generation X completely dies out. As regards the other attributes of the social media sites, a lot of people are like mad updating their status and giving details that no one is actually interested in really. It is all too perfunctory to be of any value. But nevertheless, the present generation of humans is generally bored, distracted, and confused about what is the true value of social interactions.
A lot of the people have taken the plunge into the abysmal depth of being connected or if I may say (dis)connected. Staying glued to the screens, with no idea of who is sitting or standing next to them, people behave like machines while remaining glued to that piece of glass searching for meaningful interaction with other humans. I have been there and have thankfully returned. Grateful that, today I am no longer prey to the fallacies of being (dis)connected as I seek human interaction.
It was a cold evening a decade ago and I was in Jabalpur, a laid back township that thrived on people like me.
The furore of the Y2K was far from being buried, in fact it had still not died down. Life was good as always, but there were many answers that I sought – answers I know that life will reveal only when time comes and not before. But then God has designed people to seek answers very vigorously when they are in their twenties. Some wisdom comes with answers delivered after one has turned thirty years and not before.
I was two years short of my three decades on Earth my answer would start to show. But, it happened that. Two years earlier than the datum I had once perceived, that the my question got answered. I became wiser than my peers. I believe so, because I whatever I experienced that day has stuck with me and still I think of that day. The incident remains fresh and mystical even after a more than a couple of decades.
I was a student then and pursuing telecom engineering. That memory is from the days I was busy with the end of term radio communications project. There was a lot activity of all types from doing the technical work to writing the report to presenting the inferences. But as is the case in most projects, there were some who wanted to learn, some who just wanted better grades, some wanted to impress the teachers, while there were a few who had attained Nirvana and couldn’t care less .
As is generally the case with most ambiverts, I am different from most of the lot amongst whom I work, maybe because I fit in a very small group whom I can identify with. There are even fewer whom I feel have the ability to think if at all, beyond earning your bread and butter. I work passionately where I feel I must or not at all. Therefore as part of the group, I was doing my bit. Helping those who wanted to be projected, trying to understand what impressed teachers, sometimes even drifting with those who were in the state of Nirvana. I was just being myself as usual. The part closest to me of putting through long distance HF communication was already over. I had not much interest left in the project, except in helping others doing their bit for their own reason.
That particular day had been a little more hectic than the usual days. The time was short and too many things had yet to be done. Some things were top priority and needed to be finished before the next day. The next day was the day we were to submit our individual reports and also the final project report by the group. I was still at ease for rarely things can be busy if I don’t want them to be. My individual report was ready and the group report would still take some more time. In all the hustle-bustle, I was my peaceful self, with a smile ready to escape but constrained by my endeavour not to offend others.
Jabalpur town was settling to a peaceful night – cold, calm and laid back. The traffic on the roads had considerably decreased and the distant lights of the town suggested the market would soon close for the day. It was then that someone realised that we were short on the stationary to really make the desired impact when we made our presentation the next day. I was the obvious guy, who was choosen to manage the stationery, probably because only I seemed to be at ease and it seemed I had nothing to do. We did not have any vehicle to move around. But during my previous stay at Jabalpur during the grand reunion party, I knew all distances in Jabalpur were walkable. So, killing all thoughts of going by some vehicle I decided to walk to Sadar Bazaar to pick up whatever was needed. I remembered that there was a stationery shop near the beginning of the market which always catered for the last minute requirements like ours. So I decided to walk down to the shop before it closed. The dinner could wait today as it should once in a while.
I was fortunate enough to pick up most of the things which were required before the lone stationary shop closed down. I was glad that I did things, which no one else would do – in fact they would not have been able to, frittering away precious time on useless squabbles. After picking up whatever was needed, I wanted to go to the Coffee Shop before I returned to the guys who would become more desperate with every passing minute. The midnight lamp would surely be burning tonight, for there was still a lot of work to be done. The visit to the Coffee Shop was removed from my mind as soon as it had entered my mind. Some ones good things need to wait. I was quite cold when I started walking back. Coffee too could wait.
As I walked back I got busy in my thoughts about what life had to offer and what was needed to add a little more happiness around. I won’t call this a distraction but a blessing to be able to think of something else during pressing times. I had a family to look-after and the associated responsibilities. I knew that for the work I did I would never be able to break out of the shell of GIMC – “The Great Indian Middle Class” despite of the resources and the where-with-all that I could tap. I was wondering what could really be that thing be which brought happiness to a family. Was it all about money? No, money does not buy certain things, I was aware of that. Social status? No, my definition of happiness does not depend on what others think about me. The others’ view about me is fraught with gullibility and thus brings a great degree of uncertainty. Good family? No, I have a beautiful family but I still felt like I missed that special ingredient that brought satisfaction and happiness to a family.
What was it, I did not know on that cold night. As I walked back such thoughts were vivid, exciting and did shield me from the cold. The brisk pace of the walk was also helping a bit there.
As I walked along the hedge of the lantana bush along the footpath, I heard the laughter, a laughter shattered the shield and made me return to the real world. I soon realised that the cold breeze had made me cold and I would soon be missing the cup of coffee which I had decided to sacrifice. But the laughter was a sheer contrast to the cold – it felt warm. The bushes were hiding the source of that laughter. Curiosity took the better of me and I peeked through the bush. There were some people sitting around a small fire. I decided to have a closet look, least realising that the my perceptions about life would never remain the same thereafter. When I look back, I feel grateful to the One above for granting me that moment.
What I saw just as I went around the bush made me smile. A family had gathered around a small fire and were enjoying some anecdote – something that had made them all laugh. The laughter had still not died out as I closed in on them, walking in the darkness. They were still not aware of a stranger watching them enjoy their moment of mirth. I stood for a while watching them, smiling. It must have been sometime before the little girl noticed me and indicated to the man next to her by holding his hand – I could sense the anxiety and wanted to move away before I spoiled their celebration. But before that could happen, I heard the man inviting me to join them. I was now partly confused, partly embarrassed and totally at a loss for words. It took a while for me to take a decision and I decided to join them around the warmth of the small fire. The guys back there could wait a while, that extra time would not be noticed by anyone and I was not very hungry, either. This would be a different experience and the routine should always wait when such opportunities arise.
The man called for me again and this time I smiled moving towards the small group and absorbing the moment rather fast. I guessed [and correctly so] that it was a family get together. A humble family get-together. The man, his wife, their daughter and the man’s younger brother – anyone could have noticed the striking similarity between the two men. I do remember the names distinctly but then the names do not matter, as always names never matter. I will not mention their names, never have whenever I have narrated this incident.
Soon, we started talking. I was as reluctant to disclose my identity as I was keen to find about them as much as I could. This somehow seemed to be a very different experience. I learnt that they had a tribal background and the lure of a better life had made them attempt a foray into the urban forest. They, had separated from their kith and kin with a hope. They had reached out to the world, attempting to break the shell that offered very little. The risk had been great, for this breaking of the shell had happened when the little girl was an infant and the family required much more security than what the bare minimum level of security their nomadic jungle life offered. I think all humans endeavour like this – breaking out of the shell and taking risks.
But the risk had been worth it. The family had learnt the ways of the the new world, learnt the language, the system of earning a living, and what was need to progress for a better life. The advancements had been rapid and the family had adapted very well. Their achievements can be compared to the meteoric rise of the businessmen in my world. But then all worlds are different. I was reminded of what Richard Bach had written in ‘One’. Every single human lives in a different world, the achievements, the struggles, the glory for each one is different and at different datum. The family was happy because the man had been given a raise and now could plan to get their only daughter educated. The house could wait and so could the marriage of the younger man. The laughter had a deeper meaning now. I smiled. God showers his bliss in numerous ways. It showed in their will to endure and decide for a better world.
Their story seemed to far outgrow on all measures of enormity to my own – making my struggles seem like child’s play. The family offered me their humble meal of rice and dal. I shared their meal with them. I felt a little awkward because I am not comfortable eating someone else’s food and in this case I know what effort would have gone into getting that dinner. Absolute stranger, sitting around their small fire and probably eating a chunk into their collective day’s wages – I am sure all three worked to make a living. That family was made of people with great hearts. In my world I had not known anybody who could share a meal with an absolute stranger, especially if the cost of that meal was almost equivalent to the daily earnings for the day!
Strange things happen strangely, but very few of these tend to leave their mark. It was as enlightening as it was humbling experience to be sitting around a small fire amongst very poor people who had very big hearts. People who despite of going through everything tough that life had to offer, knew that joy was in small things which had no monetary cost. Small things that I had not noticed at all, in my search for the ultimate happiness. Best things are not things at all. I learnt this big lesson that cold night amongst the humble folks sitting around the warmth of the small fire. Small things like the twinkling stars, the morning dew on a rose petals and sharing someone’s life story can give abundant, unconstrained happiness, while bringing out life lessons. Only one has the time to slow down to see the world around and seek happiness.
More than a couple of decades ago such a moment had been given to me, yet it remains as fresh as yesterday. The true joy of life is in small things.